My post election journal entry
Intense emotions have been swirling through and around me. Like a rudderless ship in a storm, each wave rocks me in a different way. Frequently I’m not even sure how I feel. So this morning I look at a list of feelings, wanting to clarify my own. Several jump out at me; anguish, brokenhearted, despair, discouraged, perplexed, revolted. Yes, all of those and more. But it’s not just me. I see the intensity in my spouse, friends and everywhere I turn. My inclination is to stay calm and try fix or come to the aid of others. That doesn’t help anyone, myself included.
As a former pilot, I know I must wear my oxygen mask first. Fly the plane before managing a wider crisis. Knowing how I feel is only a start. What underlies this pain? What needs go unfulfilled? I flounder at first. But then I see them; integrity, mourning, purpose, to understand. These 4 fundamental needs pop off the page of my “cheat sheet;” a list of fundamental human needs.
My first inclination late election night was to act. Surely I can change what I am feeling by doing something. I know the emotion is too new, raw and unprocessed. It isn’t time to “do something” yet. I saw that the deeper emotion I was experiencing seemed like the death of something important to me. Healing of that sort is a long process, not an act.
Turning to simple self-care, I took walks. I meditated, exercised, listened to music, spoke to friends and finally found a quiet place to contemplate and write. The muddy water is settling, providing a bit of clarity. Clarity for me, came from feeling, identifying the underlying needs (the two keys to self-empathy), and contemplating more. It’s what I learned going through Ongo with others. For now, the plane is flying, I have some sense of myself. I am ready to continue forward.
Note: If you feel anything like I do, join me at a CCL one of the Personal Resilience Action Team community groups:
- Climate Cafe (next one Nov 26): https://bit.ly/CCLClimateCafe
- Circles of Personal Resilience (every Tuesday): https://bit.ly/CCLCircles
@Jeff Joslin
Thanks for sharing this with us. After taking part in the 4-session Group Resilience Training with you and Tamara this year, I'm feeling much stronger and better able to deal with setbacks like this. I greatly appreciate the community of friends I've found at CCL who keep sailing (and flying) forward.
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